Using sex toys in a relationship shouldn’t feel awkward, but sometimes it does.
Maybe you’re nervous to bring it up. Maybe your partner is curious but unsure. Or maybe one of you already has toys… but they haven’t come out during partnered play.

Whatever the case, you’re not alone and the good news is, introducing toys can be easy, exciting and even a little hot.

Here’s how to do it without the weirdness.

💬 Start with a Conversation (Not in Bed)

Pick a low-pressure moment, maybe a walk, a car ride or while scrolling online and casually say something like:

“I read this thing about couples using toys together… have you ever thought about trying something like that?”

This takes the pressure off and invites honesty. Even if your partner’s unsure, it gets the conversation going and that’s huge.

💡 Frame It as Fun, Not a Fix

Sex toys aren’t a replacement for your partner. They’re tools for exploration, variety and pleasure.

Try something like:

“This isn’t about fixing anything. I just think it could be really fun to try something new together.”

This helps avoid any defensiveness or insecurity.

🔥 Start Simple (and Mutual)

Choose a beginner-friendly toy you can explore together like:

• A small external vibrator (great during oral or penetrative sex)
• A remote control vibe (fun for teasing or date nights)
• A massage toy that builds into something more
• Or even just lube, yes, lube counts as a toy when it enhances everything

Shared toys = shared excitement. No one feels left out.

🛠️ Make It Part of Foreplay

Rather than building the whole moment around the toy, try making it part of the foreplay or teasing phase. This keeps things playful and takes pressure off “performing” with something new.

😄 Laugh If It Gets Awkward

Using toys together for the first time might feel clumsy or funny, and that’s okay!
Awkwardness is normal. Laugh it off, stay curious and try again.

The goal is connection, not perfection.

❤️ Aftercare & Check-Ins Matter

Just like with anything intimate, it’s worth checking in after. Ask:

“Did you like that? Want to try something different next time?”

This keeps the door open and shows your partner you’re thinking about their experience too.

💬 Final Thoughts

Sex toys aren’t just for solo time. They’re incredible tools for couples who want to explore, laugh, connect and get curious together. The key is clear communication, mutual consent and a spirit of fun.

And if things get awkward? That’s part of the adventure.